Easy Come, Easy Go

With all of the hoopla that I created / encouraged about the band I was in, it sucks that it fell apart last night. There were too many egos in the kitchen, and some people were a little too eager to criticize / chastise. As a result, the guitarist got fed up and walked out, and I was emailed today asking me to come pick up my stuff.

Meh. I guess that means the time I was spent rehearsing for practice can now be used for other things.

The only positive thing about this is that the guitarist and vocalist - she and I were collateral damage in all of this - are willing to work on some fun, Cubase-d projects. So, hopefully, I should be able to put together some really good stuff over the coming months.

Heck, Larry.

So there’d been some band meeting at which you had not been present, the Guitarist walked out, and You’d been asked to pick up your stuff.
That’s shambolic. There’s the silver linking, but you did not need that cloud

The cloud, however, is a good one … you have a flesh and blood guitarist. AND your Cubase Equipment is no longer in storage. You’re ready to rock.

Hmmmm … and given that they were doing ego stuff, then you and she will most likely get it on more on your Own Terms. that should be good.

Take care
Glyn

Bugga. Sadly, it seems to be a common tale for many bands. I had imagined that with a band comprised of ‘older’ and presumably more mature members these sort of ego-based prolems would be less of an issue but I know from other friends experiences this is not the case at all.

Well, I guess on the upside we can look forward to some interesting collaborative work from you and the lady singer…

AHHH
Doh
Guitarist and vocalist are Two different people.
hah … you only need bassist and drumer.


“Collateral damage”

Like the Rock of the cliff-face is collateral damage when the Ego-Lemmings leap up their own …
haha …

The THREE of you will carry the strength of those who witness others behaving like idiots and know to avoid.

You Go for it, Larry. I’m feeling a bit less unhappy now

It seems to be the nature of the beast. Runaway egos ruin bands. I’ve hung on, in such situations, much longer than I should have. It can be a huge drain. Getting used to it, accepting it, can easily morph into an unhealthy co-dependency scenario. Best to bail once the toxic environment first becomes evident … which is immediately following a sit-down discussion of whatever ego/power trip sets off your BS-Detector. If it can’t be talked out, and resolved to mutual satisfaction … time to pack up and go.

Sorry to hear it didn’t work out. Something better will come along … or you, by force of will, are now in a position to MAKE something better.

You mean like this guy?:

I couldn’t make it due to a missed client appointment that my wife had while we were in SC for the funeral of my mother (a few of you here knew this). The client rescheduled for the evening of band rehearsal (Friday).

Eddie (guitarist) and I are fairly close, and he told me a while ago that he has been unhappy for a while due to the ego issue between he and Chris (bassist). Ironically, those two played in another band together so it’s not like their personalities should have been a surprise to either one. But when he called me on Wednesday to tell me he thinks he’s exiting, I told him to let me know on Friday morning with his final answer. His email Friday basically said, “don’t try to find a babysitter because I’m going to pack up my stuff.”

Connie, the vocalist, is crushed because she started being asked by friends’ bands to guest sing here and there and finally got the bug big-time. In spite of the egos, we sounded quite good together, and she said, “it’s pathetic that we never played out.”

Since I’m not really involved in this, I can give my assessment of the situation: Eddie has a bit of an ego, but he has the goods to back it up in spades. The guy is a phenomenal player, and in spite of the fact that he knows it he is still lighthearted and a great guy. However, he can’t be told when he plays something wrong. I’ve kept my mouth shut on a number of occasions when he’s made some glaring mistakes on key riffs that are identified with the song (e.g. the end of the intro to Steely Dan’s Josie or the bridge chords in Kid Charlemagne).

Chris, I sense, is heavily passive-aggressive and has control issues. His actions speak very loudly that he feels the band is his band so everything has to be approved by him. I had been putting songs up on Bandcamp until Chris heard one song that he disapproved of and caused such a big stink that I pulled all of them to spare everyone of the drama. (Some of you may have noticed.) Unfortunately, Chris is also fairly critical of the band’s sound, but he (and Roy, with whom he is in cahoots) also make the most mistakes (IMO) of anyone in the band during rehearsals, which is a shame because this is due to a lack of preparation and not because of a lack of talent in any way.

Don’t confuse this with my feelings toward them as people. I think they are all great people. But the cohesiveness of the band suffered because too many people thought they knew what was best and was critical of everyone else instead of just trusting in one another to play things well. In the end, you (as a band) have to keep foremost in your mind that each of the members wouldn’t have been invited to join if they didn’t have the chops, so why would you waste your energy trying to direct everyone instead of just letting them do what they do best? I don’t get it.

As far as the equipment that I had there, it was minimal: a keyboard stand, some cables, and 2 guitar stands. My real stuff stays with me at all times because I don’t have a backup rig to practice on.

Hi Larry

Thanks for the details - gives me a mush more solid sense. I hope to hear of you, Connie and the Guitarist doing a load of rehearsing!



And a General Question …

That Picture of Springsteen a couple of posts above … is that head Photohopped onto his body? I can’t see hhow his head would look that big …

I have a pretty big ego myself, but I get along great with guitarists.

Now if I can only get them to believe that. Seriously though, I do.

Larry,
If you knew the story behind my life the last 5 years, band drama wouldn’t seem nearly as bad. Luckily I have a band that sticks with me through the hard times… even if it takes months to get back on track. We all have egos, but we have also been longtime friends in music over many years. I will say though, getting a solid band together is only one step behind “making it in music” hehe… THat’s why I’m convinced the guys from Rush are walk-ins.

to get “the Aftereffekt” stable. It took 16 different musicians.
2 Singers
3 Bass players
5 Drummers
6 Guitarists

Springsteen is actually a little guy, about 5’9", so his head probably IS too big for his body. What strikes me about the picture is how dorky his little “working man’s hero” outfit is here 20 years later

IMO a good band is worst than a bad marriage.

Were you playing covers or originals?


I´m very fond of the work on your site. Well arranged. The voice is very charismatic.

Covers.

My site? Charistmatic vocals? Where? You must have the wrong URL.

Checked out your site, music sounds great. Nice playing. You on bass or all intruments on Beachside?

I notice "Time to Relax is released Jan 1 2012. How’d you do that?

Thanks. The guitars, save for the acoustic picking that kicks off the song, are all live, and I played them all. Everything else is soft-synth, but I did the programming. The original song concept was written by a good friend of mine (Lee Hodge) back in 1989 as a college class project.

As far as the release date goes, Bandcamp doesn’t verify that the date is in the past or not. I set it for some time in the future in case I did get enough songs to delineate them as an album.